What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor

The name of this entertainement is
Women lose weight
Our first years of mariage everything was just great
But after two kids
And a weight gain factor
The fact is
Now she's completely unattractive
Look fat chicks
I don't mean to sound rude
I tell her nice hit the gym
And don't eat so much food
But no

Your shallow
You need to run the course of unconditionnal love and so forth

But how if desires is not there
That's just a lamon
Divorces, child support alamony payments
My unhappiness i doubt discourage
So hurry for an easier way out of this marriage
Meanwhile my secretary june well groomed
When you gonna leave your wife
I tell her soon mommy soon i assume
Or my destiny is blue
Intrest only
The only thing left for me to do is to kill her

What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor

I'm gonna have to kill her

Cause there's lots which imposes divorces

Send her ass right to the morgue

Kill her

What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor

I'm gonna have to kill her

Cause there's lots which imposes divorces

Send her ass right to the morgue

My place against all shanagans
Kinda rammed in
Knowin' nothing about poison
And i can't swim
Bad intentions pumpin
Might as well become a nun
Cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone wrong
What the catch is do i have the nerve to dispatch this
Who could i get to help me murder this fat chick
Guess i have to play a dude robbin on wednesday
The day she usually goes food shopping
Anyway long story short hit the side of her chrysler
Sent her clean over the divider
"You bastard" she said as the wreck went tumblin down the hill
I thought "she has to be dead"
Later on get a call
(from a) Lieutenant Morgue
(had me) leapin like a frog
We need you at the morgue
So i selfishly persued
"boohoo" there was nothing else for me to do i had to kill her

What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor

C'mon ya'll know i had to kill her

'Cause there's lots which imposes divorces

Send her ass right to the morgue
Kill her

What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor

I had to kill her

'Cause there's lots which imposes divorces

Send her ass right to the morgue

So you mean to tell me officer you don't have no clue who did this hit and run
No sir we don't have no clues right now
This is terrible what am i gonna tell the kids?
Pull yourself together sir
I'm so broken up inside i just can't believe this
I understand, I understand
Catch the person who did this
We're gonna try sir
Please

Screamin "who done took my heart" like i was shooken up a lot
At the funeral though everyone was lookin at me odd like i did it
Like i was the reason my mates slain murmuring
"I heard he was displeased with her weight gain"
While my secretary sort of a sexy blonde can't cook
All she does is order from restaurants
All of the sex she wants
I doubt could have dressed, clothes not washed proper and house look a mess and
Talkin to detectives that was waitin outside
How i took a long lunch breakthen the wife died
I done then turned pail
And because of betrayal they indited me, gave me an impossible bail
Good fortune to anyone admiring the rawtent
Moral of the story is
Desire is important
So watch your weight
It'll keep you mate smitten it's a given
Though looking back i realised i didn't have to kill her

What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor

I didn't have to kill her

'Cause there's lots which imposes divorces

Send her ass right to the morgue
I killed her

What a surprise
Open your eyes
Woman advisor

I didn't have to kill her

'Cause there's lots which imposes divorces

Send her ass right to the morgue

Well there you have it
Keep thin trim
Keep your mariage healthy
Do you know what i mean?
Small message from morcheeba and slick rick the ruler

Peace